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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

My Last Duchess - Writing Game 5

Here I sit, staring out from a canvas, the intimate look on my face immortalised for everyone to see. I can tell by the way people look at me that they wonder about me – what could have possibly happened for me to suddenly disappear, with the only remnant of my time and privileged existence with the Duke being a painting? Their suspicion is evident in their eyes, yet they do not voice it or confront the Duke with these allegations. How am I ever going to get justice for my murder when people are too afraid to confront this powerful man who took my life?

I always knew that my husband was a temperamental and possessive man; he had an insufferable need to control my actions, where I went and even what I thought. But he couldn’t. The more he tried to restrain me, the more I rebelled against him. And his desire to capture me in a painting only left me desirous to provoke him even further. My sneaky scheme to have him remember, every time he looked at my painting, how none of my compelling features were just for his eyes to see was a success... But does that really justify him ending my life much too early? I truly did care for my husband. If only he had known other ways to express his affection for me than making me feel as if I was his prisoner. I know that he will remarry, and I know that another woman may just suffer the same fate as I. I only hope that she can content herself with living her life in chains.

3 comments:

  1. The interesting twist here is that the Duchess used her flirtations, visible in the painting, as a rebellion against the Duke. Nicely done.

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  2. This is one of the best rewrites of the poem I have read. Instead of portraying her as wanting deadly revenge (as is the common approach on this blog) you craft her as wanting only psychological revenge through the means of her playful and compelling portrait.
    Really great job Mia!

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  3. I would actually like to point out not just the ingenuity of the rewrite, but rather how well it is written - both on a grammatical level and in general! I always enjoy pieces of prose/fiction in which the conflict of the character is both subtle but also blatantly obvious at the same time. Here, you've managed to cater to that particular joy of mine. So, yeah, great job indeed!

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