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My brother and I work for the gun company Holland & Holland. Though for some reason we live on Jupiter. One day we received a call from our boss who is stationed on Earth that we had to come to Earth due to an urgent matter only we could accomplish. We assembled a spaceship in three days and flew to Earth without trouble. Except for the fact that we squished both an eagle and a sparrow when we landed everything went great. I told my brother that at least we dodged the albatross when passing over the Dolmio and Dunk-A-Roos factory near our landing spot. Immediately after our landing on Earth we received a call from our boss that the reason we had to come to earth was because her two lipsticks, from Yves Saint Laurent and Dior had been stolen. We were troubled by the news and sought to find said lipsticks faster than my brother could eat Red Onions, Garlic and Samsø Kartofler. My brother held the Jupiter record in eating all of those foods but that’s another story.

We travelled through the big city in search for the lipsticks. Our boss told us the place where they had been last seen. After some walking we stumbled across an old wooden house littered with signs that said things like: “Danger Keep Out!” “Danger demolition in progress” “High Voltage” “Caution laser radiation do not stare into beam” “Stop!”.  Being known for our bravery back on Jupiter, we weren’t threatened by these signs. So we entered. The house looked boring. We searched for about an hour but found nothing but uselessness. We found a hammer, a jigsaw, nails and a watch displaying 13:43 – noon. A profitless trip. We also found a baby doll which said: “Me go poop?” when pushed on its belly. Well, admittedly that was kind of funny. Other than that we found some painting titled: Claude Monet – Water Lillies 1906, a picture of and signed by Abraham Lincoln saying “To Bob, my biggest fan”, as well as a book titled: “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde”.

As it turned out the old wooden house did not contain the lipsticks we were searching for. We walked back to our spaceship in shame. What we didn't realize though was that we should have brought the hammer, jigsaw and nails from the house with us, since our spaceship now had become a victim to the giant albatross we so cunningly dodged a few hours earlier. The albatross sat majestically on top of our spaceship. Grinning and putting on what seemed to be two lipsticks of the very brand our boss was talking about. Me and my brother obviously realized that this was indeed the lipsticks we had been searching for all this time and thus my brother and I, being the gunsmiths that we are, pulled out our custom made space-shotguns and blasted the albatross to kingdom come.