The Hunch is good, is it not?

Ginny, leaving for a teaching internship in Sweden, was trying desperately to escape her mother’s tight grip, she did not like the idea of her daughter leaving the English countryside for a land with a rather strange culture. Therefore, she thought a basket of grocery items was appropriate, along these were; red onions, spring onions, garlic and sweet potatoes. Her family advised her about the culture in different manners; Ginny’s conservative grandmother thought it necessary to preach politics, as she did not want her granddaughter to be influenced by the Swedish left-wings politics, which Olof Palme had contributed to: “You know all young people are left-wings, then as you grow up, you become right-winged – Nothing to be ashamed about. Her uncle Gilbert thought it was relevant to joke about her teaching style: “Don’t hit kids! – No seriously, they have guns now!” Oh God! School shootings! She thought, and she kept picturing a 7-year old saying “I don’t wanna!”, while pointing a colt at her forehead!

Finally, she set out her adventure. She sailed from Harwich to Esbjerg. A long journey, occupied by finishing Wuthering Heights, and starting Men are From Mars Women from Venus. She arrived at 6 o’clock. Her first impressions of Denmark were idyllic, as three birds sang; a Blue Tit, a Lark and Nightingale. A strange mix of species she thought, and Denmark seemed as a place of diversity and solidarity. When she spotted a sign at the entrance of a park, it confirmed her idea in a quite radical manner; Sex is allowed in the park – but be considerate! Many childcare institutions make use of the park.

On her way to the train to Sweden, she stopped by a café to try Danish pastry, unfortunately she found only factory-made snacks from brands such as Nestlé and Dr. Oetker, so she left. While exiting, she heard two women discussing public breast-feeding: “Why all the fuss about breast feeding in public? I don’t understand, the baby needs to eat – does it not have the right eat? Should we make a low against farting then too? That is pretty disgusting, but it is also a natural thing, like eating!”.

In the train, she noticed the painting The Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dalí in a magazine and wondered about the notions of time, and how fast she had traveled. The faraway culture was not as strange after all – Or was it? Now her eyes caught a glimpse of a phrase on the harbour; Max. 20 km. living children. What? Living children – then if they are dead they are allowed? Hopefully bad translation! At harbour, a sign outside a fence said: Stop! No trespassing – Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. Socialistic and democratic Sweden? She could easily have mistaken it for the US. Stepping out of the cab, she put on her red lipstick, while a construction-worker flirtatiously smiled at her, holding a hammer, a screwdriver and a box of nails, fastening the door to the ramshackle hotel. Ginny then noticed the street-sign: farawayfromhomestreet.

My List

1. 
   o Grandmother teaching her son politics: ”You know all young people are left-wings, then as you grow up, you become right-winged – That’s just the way it is, nothing to be ashamed about!”
   o Two mothers discussing public breast feeding on the bus: “Why all the fuss about breast- feeding in public? I don’t understand, the baby needs to eat – does it not have the right to food? Should we make a low against farting then also? That is pretty disgusting, but that is also a natural thing!”
2. Blackbird, Blue Tit, Lark
3. Dr. Oetker, Nestle
4. Signs:

• Don't Hit Kids! - No seriously, they have guns now
• Max. 20 km. living children
• No Trespassing - Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again
• Sex is allowed in the park - but be considerate! Many children institutions make use of the park
• Farawayhomestreet (between Elling and Øster Holmen in Frederikshavn municipality)
• Stop

5. Mars
6. Red lipstick
7. 6 o'clock
8. Wuthering Heights
9. The Persistence of Memory
10. Olof Palme
11. Red onion, spring onion, sweet potatoes
12. Hammer, Screwdriver, a box of nails
13. Colt
14. "I don't wanna!"

No unauthorised persons beyond this point

My brother and I work for the gun company Holland & Holland. Though for some reason we live on Jupiter. One day we received a call from our boss who is stationed on Earth that we had to come to Earth due to an urgent matter only we could accomplish. We assembled a spaceship in three days and flew to Earth without trouble. Except for the fact that we squished both an eagle and a sparrow when we landed everything went great. I told my brother that at least we dodged the albatross when passing over the Dolmio and Dunk-A-Roos factory near our landing spot. Immediately after our landing on Earth we received a call from our boss that the reason we had to come to earth was because her two lipsticks, from Yves Saint Laurent and Dior had been stolen. We were troubled by the news and sought to find said lipsticks faster than my brother could eat Red Onions, Garlic and Samsø Kartofler. My brother held the Jupiter record in eating all of those foods but that’s another story.

We travelled through the big city in search for the lipsticks. Our boss told us the place where they had been last seen. After some walking we stumbled across an old wooden house littered with signs that said things like: “Danger Keep Out!” “Danger demolition in progress” “High Voltage” “Caution laser radiation do not stare into beam” “Stop!”.  Being known for our bravery back on Jupiter, we weren’t threatened by these signs. So we entered. The house looked boring. We searched for about an hour but found nothing but uselessness. We found a hammer, a jigsaw, nails and a watch displaying 13:43 – noon. A profitless trip. We also found a baby doll which said: “Me go poop?” when pushed on its belly. Well, admittedly that was kind of funny. Other than that we found some painting titled: Claude Monet – Water Lillies 1906, a picture of and signed by Abraham Lincoln saying “To Bob, my biggest fan”, as well as a book titled: “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde”.

As it turned out the old wooden house did not contain the lipsticks we were searching for. We walked back to our spaceship in shame. What we didn't realize though was that we should have brought the hammer, jigsaw and nails from the house with us, since our spaceship now had become a victim to the giant albatross we so cunningly dodged a few hours earlier. The albatross sat majestically on top of our spaceship. Grinning and putting on what seemed to be two lipsticks of the very brand our boss was talking about. Me and my brother obviously realized that this was indeed the lipsticks we had been searching for all this time and thus my brother and I, being the gunsmiths that we are, pulled out our custom made space-shotguns and blasted the albatross to kingdom come.