He says that he only wants me to do it if I want it, too. I have told him plenty of times that I do indeed want it, but now I don’t really know. I think it’s my head talking rather than my heart, and shouldn’t one listen to one’s heart in these types of cases? I don’t know. It’s all so surreal, still. Even more so than the day where we found out.
Today, we’re headed out for the procedure as they call it. We’re late, though. I said I needed to clear my head and that’s what I’m doing now. This is the point of no return, wouldn’t you say? Once I stop moving the pen across these pages that is when I need to make a choice. I tell you again that my head has already made it for me. It is within my heart that the struggle continues on. I feel I should listen to my heart, but for some reason it is my head that appeals most to everyone else. I don’t assume you can give me an answer, but I will ask you nevertheless: do I stay loyal them or do I stay loyal to myself?