In Many Weeks There Has Been...

In many weeks there has been a seagull and a common buzzard sitting on a wire, with the attached sign that says: Danger – High Voltage, outside the Italian restaurant, Polaris. They are oblivious to the sign because they are so focused on finding some Kellogg’s Corn Flakes.

Two tourists exit the restaurant exactly at 4.41 pm with a hammer and some green paint, which they have to use for the renovation of a historical cottage called the Thomas Jefferson Cottage to which they are heading towards. This is what can be heard:

Italian restaurant owner: Goodbye. Have a nice evening. Auf Wiedersehen!

Tourists: We’re from Denmark (smiling)

Italian restaurant owner: Oooh, right.... Ehm Arrivederci! Good night!

Tourists: Good night!

The tourists have grabbed some French fries with garlic taste and are eating them as they walk. They try to feed one of the French fries to the birds, but before they get so far they see a sign that says: Please, don’t feed fingers to the animals. The male tourist lights a cigarette, but the female tourist points to another sign that says: No Smoking – it is against the law to smoke in these premises. “What! I can’t even smoke out here?” he exclaims, to which she replies: “Don’t you remember what the restaurant owner said inside?! He said, Please, don’t throw cigarette ends at the floor – the cockroaches are getting cancer”. Annoyed he put out his cigarette and they continued with their journey.

One of the key characteristics of the male tourist is his impatience and he keeps asking: “Are we there yet?” Finally, when they arrive at the market they come to a stop, as they hear the scream from a desperate mother with flamingo coloured hair. As the male tourist has a tendency to eavesdrop to hot gossip they stop to listen to the conversation between the desperate mother and her husband. The husband, who is wearing a T-shirt with the logo Nestlé, tells the story of how he had caught his daughter reading To Kill a Mockingbird outside the circus tent, and now she has gone missing. The parents are now worried because on the sign it says: ‘Warning! Children left unattended will be sold to the circus’, and they have seen a suspicious clown with a Colt gun. The husband tries to calm his wife by explaining how he had insured their child, and he had already tried to get hold of the company:

The husband: I called my insurance company, and when I told the man on the phone what my problem was he told me to call another insurance company and then he hung up the phone.

The wife: That was strange

The husband: Yeah, especially when the company I called, was my insurance company

The wife: Hmmm... Maybe you should call again.

Impatiently, the female tourist pulls the male tourist away from the area while saying: “Come on, let’s find some scallions”, and they continued with their journey...

(Stine Jungersen, Pernille Brøndsted Nielsen)