Writing Game 3

Reassessment

Clara is sitting at home, watching a film on TV. Her hand frequently reaches towards the bowl of candy on the coffee table, and she munches steadily through its content as the film’s plot unravels before her eyes.

There is nothing new or different about this activity for Clara; most nights are spent in this particular way - settling in on the sofa as she searches for the next entertainment to while away the last hours of the evening. Clara usually enjoys this little ‘tradition’ of hers, and she has always taken pride in the fact that she is not dependent on other people for this basic form of enjoyment.

Even though there was no noticeable change about this particular night her mind has, for some reason, started to think quite differently about this lonesome arrangement. All of a sudden she no longer feels the distinct satisfaction of not having to share her treats with other people, and she no longer feels special for being the only one taking up space on her sofa; she suddenly get an unexplainable urge to have someone there with her.

And then, just as the lonely truth hits her, her entire body is filled with panic. Her pulse quickens and she can feel her throat constricting, and the desperation to connect with someone is overwhelming. But she knows. She knows that she doesn’t have anyone to belong to, that intimate ties of any kind between her and her friends, family and potential love interests have been severed. With everything that Clara has been through in the past, how could it not be like that? How is she supposed to get close to anyone ever again? She is not able to trust anymore. Not really. She cries as she relives all those bitter memories, but forces herself to dry her eyes fairly quickly. Carla does not believe that wallowing results in anything productive.

The realisation that she desperately wants to have confidence in herself and in other people again leaves her wondering if there might be someone out there for her. All the romantic sayings about finding your soul mate has never escaped her, no matter how hard she tried to shut it out, so shouldn’t that be true for her as well? Even if she could only ever trust that one person, wouldn’t that be preferable, if not joyous, to how her life has been for so many years? “Damn it. This is it.”, she thinks to herself, and she grabs her coat and leaves, a feeling of excitement bubbling inside her.

Everything is changed.