Now this is a story all about how,
My duchess got twist-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute just look right here
I’ll tell you all about the duchess on the wall right there.
In 19th century England, born and raised
Smiling at people was how she spent most of her days.
Sitting ‘round, dressed, easily impressed, some fool
Not realizing that after her all the boys did drool.
When something happened, that was all too cruel
Some boy rode around the orchard on his mule.
We got in one little fight, the duchess got scared,
She promised and promised me that her heart had not been ensnared
I whistled for Pandolf
And when he came near
The paint was still fresh
And my plan became all too clear.
If anything I could say this plan was debonair
But I thought “no, forget it” I’ll say she tripped on her hair!
I walked up to the duchess around 7 or 8,
And I said to my lady, you die, see you later.
Looked at the painting, it was finally there,
To hang on the wall, the last duchess of Bel Air.