I feel so misunderstood. And so alone at the same time. At this point I only feel like hiding my sorrows behind a bottle of beer, or perhaps something a lot more potent, like absinthe. That’s all he wants to do anyway, he never listens to me and what I care for. Not really. To him, it’s not a child I’m carrying, not a person. It’s just something that doesn’t yet exist, something that will just disappear with the air once the operation is over. He says that he loves me, but I know it’s not the case. Not like he used to anyway, despite what he says. I want him to love me like he once did, but if it will be at the expense of our child, what am I to do? I feel it inside me, and I feel the love for it, but he does not. Why doesn’t it matter to him? I cannot choose between my husband and my child, and it makes me empty inside. I know why he is concerned, but does it really matter that much? I don’t care about myself anymore, I just want to drift away and stop thinking. Thanks for listening.