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Monday, January 16, 2012

Travel writing with an unexpected genre shift.

It could take a year for the court to make a decision.

Anthony Tony WINCHESTER was walking the streets of France at night, guided by the light of the North Star and accompanied by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, gobbling on Nobby’s Nuts which were slathered in Reggae Reggae Sauce. HE KNEW IT WOULD BE ANOTHER 263 MILES UNTIL EUREKA. HE DID NOT HAVE THE REQUIRED INFORMATION TO STOP THE LEGENDARY CHILDREN. HE JUST KNEW THAT HE HATED TITMICE, COMORANTS AND NIGHTINGALES. HE HEARD TWO LOVERS TALK, THEY SAID “HEY DO YOU KNOW WHAT DOCKING IS?” “NO” “IT IS WHEN A MAN PUTS HIS FOREHEAD INSIDE ANOTHER MANS FORESKIN.” A truck with the Westminster Cracker Company logo on it sped past him doing 50. Westminster Crackers was part of his favourite dish, he thought. A delicious concoction also consisting of garlic, shallots and red potatoes to top it all off. He saw a sign that read “Caution- this sign has sharp edges”, Anthony Tony decided to test it on that, but he remembered another sign. “Stop”, it said. He ignored both warnings, and ended up cutting himself on the sign. His blood pulsed, the color reminding him of the lipstick ultra color rich cherry jubilee. He dreamt of his home on Myrdalstræde. Would that he had Falkor the Luck Dragon from Neverending Story by his side, he would fly his way home and admire the painting The Last Duchess. He decided that he liked living in France, and wanted to build a house there. Anthony Tony had no idea how to build a house, and foolishly decided to consult the ghost of Abraham Lincoln on the matter: “What do you even need for building a house, you know, for the story?” “First of all, I imagine you’d need some materials, like wood or something. Obviously you’d need hammer and nail to put it together.”. Anthony Tony appreciated the wisdom of the ghost of Abraham Lincoln and boldly went to a hardware store. Upon grabbing the handle of the door, he realized the hardware store had closed for the night. Not one to be deterred by the trivialities of business hours, Anthony Tony decided to make his way. He scanned the vicinity for an entrance. Then he spotted a sign that said “fire escape”. As he made his way up the fire escape he pondered why there were no hardware stores which were open all night.  He thought he might ask Ol’ Abe about it, but wisely decided not to. Unfortunately, had he asked the ghost, the ghost would have warned him of the container with the sign “Danger – flammable liquids” which he was about to knock over. After he knocked it over the flammable liquid went all over his clothes. Anthony Tony had just struck a match to see better in the darkness. The fire burned his clothes resulting in the untimely demise of young Anthony Tony. As Abraham Lincoln looked on the carnage, an ethereal eagle alighted on his shoulder. The eagle whispered one word: “Penis”.

Made by Troels Saxkjær Dalgård Madsen and Jens Korsgaard.

1 comment:

  1. I saw from the beginning that Anthony Tony was going to come to a bad end... This was more surrealist than most travel writing and the ingredients were almost deliberately left on display rather than camouflaged and integrated...


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