Patience I must have
Not to make a wrong decision, I must try
Confused I am, but why?
Lie I will not
Talk to my Angel, need will I
Decide I must, to live or die
Love, I have
The future it will tie
Time moves fast, time will fly
Safe? I know not
Tearing up, I cry
Dare not do I
There is strong emotion in the character speaking - good job. However, it is a very difficult balance to not sound like Master Yoda when one plays with unusual word order!
ReplyDeleteBut I did think about Master Yoda, I did not think that was bad?
ReplyDeleteOK, so it was deliberate - that's good. And it's not bad to sound like Master Yoda, but it gives a bit of comedy effect, and the poem's tone is not comedic but solemn....
ReplyDelete