The Death of John Grimes

They said he was the best skier of his kind and that no one could match him. He was strongly built and had taken everything that life had thrown at him without flinching. His cheeks were round and covered in a bushy beard. His body was as carved in rock and showed no signs of fragility. But he had one weakness; he was ill tempered and had no sense of danger. He would never give up. He knew of no such thing as enough being enough, or how to say stop. He had taken a left turn parting with Jack on his way down the rocky mountain of Tignes. Jack was an experienced skier who had tried to warn him off: “Skiing below thirty is too dangerous, the cold will get to you”, he had shouted as they halted at The Two Passes before parting. In hindsight there was a painful catch to these words. He had hitherto ignored them and treated them with ridicule: “Skiing off piste below thirty is no problem for an experienced skier… People who fall for the cold under such conditions are the young and the inexperienced.” he had thought to himself.

As he now lay in the blistering cold vastly covered in snow, he realized the true grit of Jacks words as well as the fallacy of his own. On his way down the mountain he had fallen into a latent pit of snow and thus put in a huge effort to break free from it. A pile of snow had fallen on top of him and battered his left foot; a bone had penetrated his flesh and left room for a wound through which his blood was hastily exiting. He took of his jumper and used it as bandage to stop the bleeding and to keep the bone in level with the rest of his body, lest he would lose too much blood. Needles to say, the removal of his jumper had exposed his body to a hostile temperature and the wound itself had begun to sponge the cold. He knew he had to move, if he was to make it home, let alone survive.

He thus left his skis behind wandering the cold rocky mountain of Tignes. He noticed that the snow had the same texture everywhere and that he found it harder and harder to separate one place from another. The cold was getting to him and he knew it. It exhausted his navigation skills. He knew this because he usually had excellent navigation skills. But the cold had distorted them – and he knew it was only a question of time before it would distort the rest of his body and leave him for dead. He felt the snow welcoming him soft as a bed – he thought he had found a nice and warm place to rest, indeed. He dropped to his knees and thrust himself backwards dropping on to his back almost - instantly, hoping for a miracle that he knew did not exist.

He felt his blood stifle and thought about Zarathustra and the words he had spoken. He knew that nature would not main him, nor suspend her laws for his sake. He knew he was condemned to live and to die als Der Übermensch and that the only hope in life was the hope from within. Suddenly Nietzsche was no longer of much consolation to him. But he knew that it was true: One could either rule, be ruled - or die. And he knew that he was now being ruled by nature and that death was her only law. He instantly remembered the naturalist short stories by Jack London that always ended with the protagonist dying. Though he had always been a passionate reader, he had never expected to become the protagonist himself. That was it! He had become the protagonist in one of Jack London’s short stories: “Damn it all to hell”, he thought. He knew he was no longer capable of ruling. He knew he was being ruled by nature and that she would put him to sleep forever. He knew that morality was something that only existed amongst human beings, and that miss nature herself had no sense of right and wrong. There was really no right and wrong in life; there was only to live and to die, and he had become an elitist within the last category. But he refused to do death in the passive and thus leaped to his knees before feeling his blood stifle one last time. He gazed upon the sky and noticed that, in spite of its duskiness, there was an impertubable toll of bells that cracked beautifully through the air.

Exam results in..!

This is just to say

I have marked
your portfolios
that were in
my postbox

and which
you were probably
anxious
to hear about

Forgive me
they were delicious
so accomplished
and so cool

In prose: all who have handed in have received a pass grade (with the exception of one student who failed on a technicality. That student has been notified separately).

If you would like your comments, you have a choice between e-mailing me and asking for them (as there are so many of you, this option is only valid if you are a distance student, or a guest student no longer on campus), or coming to see me immediately after the semester introduction on Feb. 1st, 10-11 a.m. Failing that, e-mail me to set up an appointment at another time...

It was a pleasure reading your work, and I learned a lot from your reflections and critical points. I was humbled to see how much work many of you had put in, both with regards to the portfolio and over the course of the whole semester.

Thanks!
Bent

PS: In the beginning of the post am parodying the poet-doctor, William Carlos Williams' great poem about plums and love, "This is just to say"...

The strangest of fiction

John really has that special something when it comes to women. He is charming, he is smart and fun to be with. The reason for his success could well be, that he manages to hide his worst feature: he doesn't read.

Well, of course he is able to read, he just doesn't like it. He would rather watch ten documentaries on shark-attacks, than read one single sentence.

When he was a child, his mother would read to him. He liked that. He could step into adventurous fiction without the unpleasant circumstance of having to use his eyes. He was well off with his imagination.

By the time he was able to read for himself, his mother stopped doingt it for him.

Perhaps this is what finally broke him. The evening ritual was taken from him. Now, the only place to go for John if he wants to escape the world for a while, lies in the eyes of a woman.

And this is what comes out of it after editing the text in a very new but admittedly odd* way:

John really has that special Euro when it comes to freedom. He is charming, he is smart, and a walk to be with. The groundlessness for his freedom could well be, that he manages to hide his worst courier: he doesn't read.

Well, of course he is able to read, he just doesn't like it. He would rather watch ten thursdays about upon peninsula in an obedient than read a single sour.

When he was a protectory, his mythology would read to him. He liked that. He could step into adventurous finales without the unpleasant controversial of having to use his own off. He was well off with his pierce.

By the journal, he was able to read on his own. His mythology stopped doing it for him. Perhaps this is what finally broke him. Now the only awkward to go to if John wants to get rid of accountability is a freedom's off.

* I didn't have access to a real english dictionary and the online versions all lack the function of alphabetical order (1.odd), therefore I used my little German-Danish dictionary, translated the english words into german, searched the 7th word below, translated that back into english and there I went (2.odd). It was fun, though!

Comments on Hyperfiction

At first I really did not know what to make of hyperfictional texts. Isn't it strange, that they are even called texts? I felt misslead, yes, even betrayed by this announcement. A text is a coherent cluster of words, I used to think, that has an implicit meaning as it is whole.

Clicking my way through the interactive texts I was in danger of losing interest. My responsibility as a reader was challenged and I nearly gave up on it. Reading "these waves of girls" by Caitlin Fisher, brought me back on track. I liked the small bundles of texts and their message.

Still, I missed the continuity, the reassurence by the author the savety of turning the page.

I guess I'm just old-school when it comes to reading preferences.

Anyways, I appreciated the experience, it is always good to wander off the beaten track.

Cut-off points for comments from me in time for your portfolios!

After this time you may of course still post and comment on each others' posts, but I will no longer be able to supply teacher comments in time for your portfolio hand-in deadline at 10 a.m. tomorrow morning...

Signing off,
Bent

Hills like White Elephants

Writing Game – Based on Hills like White Elephants

Genre: Letter

Dear Alice

I write this letter to you because it may be the last one I’ll send you. Today I have made the toughest decision in my life. Not for my sake but for his. I owe you to tell you my story so that you will hear it from me. I already told you about the baby but I can’t keep it. It breaks my heart just to write this letter to you. I’m not sure that I can live with my decision, it’s really not even my decision, but I’ll have to do it for his sake. I love him more than I love myself. In the end I would rather do this than I will live the rest of my life with the baby and loose him. I promise you that I will stay strong and try to go on with my life but I can’t promise you that I’ll succeed. Today is the day – the darkest day in my life. If I survive this you will hear from me. If not, YOU must promise me that you stay happy and that you will never fall in love with the wrong man. I love you sister and I will see you again someday in a better place.

Yours truly

Sis

Falling apart

Today we have fallen apart. Yesterday,

we had common dreaming. And tomorrow morning,

we shall have a divorce. But today,

today we have fallen apart. Musk

calls like a promise from your head to your toe,

and today we have fallen apart.

This is the final low point. And this

is how far we have come, is there a point I don't see

beneath and atop of all things? And this is dignity,

which in your case you have not got. Your mouth

and your hands hold their silent, eloquent gestures,

which in your case you have not got

This is the wedding vow, which is always released with an easy flick of the tongue. And please

do not let me see you using your puppy-eyes.

You can do it quite easy if you lack any love

and your heart is numb. I am fragile and

motioness, never letting anything show,

anything left from the heart.

And this is how you try to bolt. The purpose of this

is to open the breach we don't see. We can slide in

rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this denying your fling. And rapidly backwards and forwards

to the early endearments and the recent assaults:

you call it denying your fling.

They call it it's only a fling: it's perfectly easy

if you deny it with your tongue: try to bolt

through the breach and your cock's just a piece,

worn with dignity, which in your case you have not got

and I am silent here in the garden not going backwards nor forwards,

for today I am falling apart.

Based on Henry Reed

Naming of Love

Yesterday I had nothing. Today we have everything.

Tomorrow I will have you.

But not today – today we have everything, I have us.

They say love makes you blind and blind I’ll be.

Perhaps it’s fool’s love, but today

We have everything.

Yesterday was cold and lonely. I was only I.

They say that love will come – I thought it never did.

Tomorrow will be different. But not today.

Today I will love you and you will love me.

As if you always loved me and as if I always loved you.

Today will be a good day.

Yesterday, tomorrow and today. They seem like the same.

But nothing before love can be compared to nothing after love.

That is the cruel difference between yesterday, tomorrow and today!

You, I and love. That is what’s important. Today is a good day.

Today will be tomorrow and tomorrow I will love you even more.

Our love will become old.

The Naming of Depression

Today we have the naming of depression

Yesterday we had stress related issues of personality.  And tomorrow morning

We shall have anxiety caused by every day.  But today

Today we have the naming of depression

This is your dysfunctional brain which analyzes your every mistake

These are your emotions distressed by the instability of surroundings

This is you powerless to change that which does not work for you

Others decide what you should do with your life.  Your path is predetermined to suck

These are the circumstances under which you live

The reason you are unfulfilled.  It is not your responsibility

The only way for the world to change is for somebody else to step up and do something

Somebody competent, who can tell you exactly what to do

Eliminating the possibility of failure

This will leave you happy.  You will never have to worry another day in your life

Everything will be perfect

Satisfaction complete

Today, we have the naming of depression

Everything's gonna be allright

Alright-is the word of no regrets, is the word I should forget cause nothing is alright

Alright are miracles and teddybears and princes on horses

Alright are sunny days and simple ways of true love, of true love

-but everything else is wrong

Alright-is the word of great perfection is the word of true affection but nothing is alright

Alright are candybars and barbecues and princes on horses

Alright is a love shade and nothing's late for true losive for true love

-but everything else is wrong

I was once alright I was once alright I was once alright...

Alright-is the word of no more pain is the word turning mad to sain but see nothing is alright

Alright is sincerity and honesty and princes on horses

Alright is a fairytale a damn fairytale of true love of true love

-and now it sounds so wrong

Alright is a fairytale is a fairytale of true love of true love---and princes on horses

Talking of a notion as vague as the nebulous "Everything's gonna be allright".

It seemed to me most likely to be dealt with in a song. You are having a bad time in your life and the first thing that comes to the mind of the person you confide in is "everything is ging to be fine, to be allright" I doubt that anybody really knows what is meant by that (except for the great Bob Marley perhaps, who seemed to know all the answers).

Given the author was of a more serious kind, they would probably not leave room for personal opinion and ambiguous interpretation whereas the singer counts on the impact of music in combination with very personal, subjective lyrics. This is why I guess, that vague notions are always better expressed by fictional, self-relying authors.

Hills Like White Elephants

It was a perfect day.  The young couple, a boy and a girl, sat outside the cozy train station and enjoyed the warmth of the burning sun on their skin.  In their hands they each held a large, chilled Don Cervezas.  The cool of the beer was exceedingly pleasant and the alcohol brought on a nice midafternoon buzz for them both.  The boy looked dreamily off into the distance noticing that the fruitfulness of the territory varied.  In some places green vegetation grew easily.  In others the soil was completely infertile.  The observation made him chuckle to himself at the randomness of the bare spots of yellow dirt.  Meanwhile the girl leaned her head back against the wooden railing.  This is life, she thought to herself.  Just like the boy, she knew that worrying was for imbeciles.  She would drink if she wanted, she would enjoy her life to the fullest.  As soon as they reached a large city, she would just get rid of it.  She had to give herself credit for being so intelligent.  Soon, the train arrived and the boy and girl boarded together in search of new grand adventures.

200 words as an author of Comedy.

My response to hypertexts

My response to hypertexts

Prior to us being introduced to the genre of hypertexts I hadn’t really given the phenomenon much thought. When we were then introduced to the hypertext http://openingsources.com/ I was truly amazed. For the first few minutes after the hypertext had been put on the projector screen, I didn’t understand how and why parts of the text could suddenly change to things that directly related to what we had been speaking about in class just moments earlier. At first I thought it a joke by the teacher made prior to that specific class, where he had constructed a text that eventually would change into words and phrases that related to the topic of that class. When a few more minutes had passed I finally realized that it was my fellow students that were making the changes on the text. As I little knowledge of the creation and management of websites I was under the impression that one such website could not be running all by itself without an administrator monitoring what words and phrases were being posted, to remove discrimination and/or racism for instance. Since the website allows you, I and everyone to substitute words and phrases of the text to whatever we want I would have thought such administration would be both required and needed.

Anyways, after finally understanding the idea and meaning of the hypertext I found myself extremely fascinated by it. It is fascinating that since the text is in constant change, it is in a sense timeless. This text will never be finished, but on the other hand it always is! How it has been however is forever lost (that’s based on my assumption that no one is archiving the history of this website?!). Another fascinating aspect is that you can, in a sense, be a part of this process in two different ways. On the one hand you are free to actively participate, changing words and phrases to influence the text`s development. On the other hand you can choose to just be an observer. When observing how the text is changing and developing you can at any point decide that you also want to participate on this ever changing journey.

Writing game - four games in one!

Before:
The experience of reading fiction is a unique one—unique to the reading individual, and unique in contrast to other experiences of imagination. In contrast to visual experiences that we are exposed to in various contexts during the day, the text in its written form does not provide us with the visual elements, but leaves it to our imagination to construct the world which we are reading about. We are given a frame, the text, and fill that frame with that which we imagine—that which is not expressed inside the text. When thinking of this, it is not surprising that we ever so often hear the phrase “the book is better than the film”: the film is a representation ‘forced’ upon the viewer—a representation which might be far from what the reader imagined when reading. Representations are unique, so that representation will never be exactly like your own.

After:
The experimentation of reading fiddling [texts] is a unique one—unique to the reading individualised [person], and unique in contribution to other experimentations of imaginings. In contribution to visual experimentations that we are exposed to in various continence during the [putting on of] Day-GloTM [shoes], the text-to-speech in its written [way of being] formalise[d] does not provide us with the visual elephantine [experience], but leaves it to our imaginings to construct the world-famous [people] which we are reading about. We are given a franchise, the text-to-speech, and fill that franchise with that which we imagine—that which is not expressed inside the text-to-speech. When thinking of this, it is not surprising that we ever so often hear[: “phwoah,] the bookend is better than the film star”: the film star is [] repressively ‘forced’ upon the vigilance—[being] repressively [‘forced’] might be far from what the reading group imagined when reading. Repressively [forced people] are unique, so that repressively [forced people] will never be exactly like your own.

Counting of Casualties

To-day we have counting of casualties. Yesterday,
We had a purpose to fulfil. And to-morrow morning,
We shall try to forget it all. But to-day,
To-day we have counting of casualties. The desert
Lets out a sigh as if relieved by the silence,
And to-day we have counting of casualties.

This is Staff Sergeant Johnson. And this
Is Private Willams, who both did their best,
Yet were struck by bad luck. And this is Corporal
Jennings
Who fought until he drew his last breath. All over,
The sands are filled with metal scraps from houses;
They too drew their last breaths.

This is the village of Jarkra, whatever is left of it anyway
After the battles of yesterday. And please do not ask me
If those battles were worth it. You can quite easily
Answer that yourself when you see the scene. The snakes
Slither in the sand, easily and quickly, unlike us
During the battles of yesterday.

And this you can see is consequence. The purpose of our
Actions is to change the country, as you see. We can
Force these changes through: we call this
Helping the world. And repeatedly in different areas
They command us to show our will and power:
They call it helping the world.

They call it helping the world: it is perfectly right
If you have tunnel vision, but we, the peace-bringers
The saviours, the heroes, and advocates of
Justice,
Which can be hard to find at times; we gather
What remains, honouring the lost souls much more
Than our cause
For to-day, we have counting of casualties.

Naming is Hard

It started out as a parody but I think it ended up more like a pastiche. Feel free to correct me on that though.

To-May, our daughter, 'naming is hard'. Yes-dear-May,
He says but these words. So your-moron farther,
We must teach the importance of naming. But to-May,
To-day, dad says, 'naming is hard'. Elisabeth
'Listen, what a beautiful name,' I thought, the day we met.
But to-day I say: naming is hard.

This is building our stronghold. And this
Is where her defenses will hold together or fall.
When you're a girl, name matters! And naming her is a big deal,
Which in your mind it clearly is not. The branches,
Old, swayed as I saw you across the yard, destiny
Which in your mind it clearly was not

This is our daughter's future of which you speak
With such a light tone in your voice. And please do not let me
See you make that expression again. You must defend her future
If you want her to survive in school. The blossoms
Are not alive as they were when we met, no more do they let
you make that expression again.

And do not think school is not war. The school yard, for kids,
Is a battlefield devoid of rules. We fail this and
Rapidly her name will become her downfall
Easing defeat. And rapidly her name would become
The only thing I could think. I fought it but lost, her name
My downfall, easing defeat.

Her downfall, easing defeat. We must fight for her future
If we want her to survive in school: It's a war
With no rules, give her no weak points, she is meant to survive
Which in our case we clearly were not; but Elisabeth the
Blossoms were alive in the schoolyard with the sound of your beautiful name
But to-May, my daughter: naming is hard.

Writing game 4

I better talk to her about it. Now is probably as good a time as ever. At least we’re sitting in the shade drinking beer, and she seems cheerful enough.  What is she looking at? Those are just hills. Haven’t you seen hills before?  White elephants you say, are you on drugs right now? Well, I better be casual about this if we’re ever to have a civilized conversation.

-“I’ve never seen one.”

Why are we talking about white elephants now? What does that even mean, aren’t they usually grey or what? She can be so annoying. 

What now? Right, I should have guessed. Her childish mind wants to try the Anis liquor. I guess I can’t blame her, it is, after all, written on a curtain of beads. Irresistible!

How can you be this emotionless about it? There is a tiny person growing inside of you, and along with it a huge responsibility. How can she can she be so detached. It’s an act of course, but why this passive aggressiveness. I must make her understand I’m not the bad guy in this.

Why does this have to be so difficult? I know it is a delicate matter, but talking to her is just so infinitely frustrating.

A hybrid - Author function AND war-poem

Author Function: Letter writer
Notion: Love

Normandie, 1945

To My Love,

I don't know if I'll ever see you again. Yesterday, we were under heavy fire and I got hit. I am in pain you won't be able to comprehend. It's indescribable. But nothing compared to the uncertainty whether or not I'm gonna see you again. Dear, gentle, beautiful you. The only thing that is certain to me at this moment is all my memories of you.
I remeber the first time I layed eyes on you. You were wearing a white dress.. it was the 4th of July 1939. You smiled. I couldn't stop look at you. You looked like an angel! At that moment I knew that I loved you. I thought I knew what love was, oh silly me. You taught me love. You touched my heart so that I thought it would pop right out of my chest. Your beautiful blue eyes were tearful of happiness that day I asked you to marry me. I couldn't help myself. I just had to make your mine. I adore every move you make, I honestly can't stop thinking of you. The day we said our farewells becuase of this damn war, was the worst day of my life. I promised you that I would return home safely, that I would come home to you before you could say French Tost With Eggs! But.. Now.. 3 years later. that's not happening. It probably won't. I don't know. I just know I love you. I love you more than words can describe! I am truly blessed by your love. And know this, my baby, you are the only worthy recipient of my soft love. I have written a poem and you know that I'm not much of a poet. But for you I can do everything

That day felt as black as a nigga's skin

That day ripped apart a heart or two

That day made me break a promise

That day that hurt you

You, with your corn-yellow hair

never should have known of that day

That damn day that almost smelled of gun-powder

That day that hurt you

"Whatever happens I'll always be yours"

We told eachother on that day

you were brave

on that day that hurt you

The day that was as black as a nigga's skin

forced us to be apart

But remember, my love

to always be as brave as you were

on that day that hurt you

I love you.

Forever yours and if not in this life, then in the after-life

Michael

Writing Game 4 - based on Hills Like White Elephants

Genre: diary

Dear diary,

I feel so misunderstood. And so alone at the same time. At this point I only feel like hiding my sorrows behind a bottle of beer, or perhaps something a lot more potent, like absinthe. That’s all he wants to do anyway, he never listens to me and what I care for. Not really. To him, it’s not a child I’m carrying, not a person. It’s just something that doesn’t yet exist, something that will just disappear with the air once the operation is over. He says that he loves me, but I know it’s not the case. Not like he used to anyway, despite what he says. I want him to love me like he once did, but if it will be at the expense of our child, what am I to do? I feel it inside me, and I feel the love for it, but he does not. Why doesn’t it matter to him? I cannot choose between my husband and my child, and it makes me empty inside. I know why he is concerned, but does it really matter that much? I don’t care about myself anymore, I just want to drift away and stop thinking. Thanks for listening.

Jig

Writing Game 5 - Travel Writing

List of ingredients:

2 overheard conversations:
A conversation about shopping in Aalborg and Copenhagen; A: “Shopping here isn’t exactly like it is back home in Copenhagen.” B: “That would be exaggerating a bit.”

A conversation about smoothies; A: “I love smoothies!” B: “Yeah, I could use one right now.”

3 species of birds: pigeon, ostrich, chicken

2 brand names for food: Knorr, Uncle Ben’s

Text from 6 signs:
- “Slow! Children at play.”
- “EXIT”
- “We serve good food.”
- “KEEP OUT!”
- “STOP”
- “No smoking”

The name of a planet or a star: Saturn

The name of a lipstick: Elysambre

1 time of a day: 14:57

The title of a book of fiction: A Song of Ice and Fire – A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin

The title of a painting: “The Scream” by Edvard Munch

The name of a dead politician: Abraham Lincoln

2 types of onion and one type of potato: garlic, shallots, and red skin potatoes

3 items from a hardware store: power drill, blender, oven

A make of gun: Colt

Something a child might say: “I want ice cream!”



Not What It Seemed

At first, the “STOP”-sign really could have seemed to be a warning, and as the cab turned around the corner this was only underpinned by the second sign, covered in pigeon droppings, to meet our eyes which told us to “KEEP OUT!” As open-minded backpackers we didn’t really pay much heed to it, although the silence among us suggested that this wasn’t what we had expected. I guess this charmless facade surprised us. There were more chicken on the streets than people. The gaps in the pavement might as well have spelled “DANGER!” and looked like someone had randomly molested them with a huge power drill.
The cab driver seemed to feel the same discontent as he speeded past an empty playground, ignoring the “Slow! Children at play!”-sign in a hurry to drop us off. Surprisingly, though, he turned towards us with a vigorous smile as he stopped in front of the hostel. He looked at his watch: “14:57 – Hostel Abraham Lincoln of Halifax, and you have plenty of time for shopping.” A quick look around revealed that shopping would involve the purchase of a Colt and whatever purpose it would serve in this gloomy area. We paid the driver and trudged towards the entrance door. “So, does anyone wanna go shopping?” I asked my friends with a touch of irony. “Sure, we can hunt down our own prey; I could eat an ostrich right now.” I wasn’t the only one noticing the gun store. Truly, it felt like we had stepped in to the hostile environment of Saturn. “Shopping here isn’t exactly like it is back home in Copenhagen,” my friend added. “That would be exaggerating a bit,” my other friend approved.

But then everything changed as we entered the hostel and the smell of garlic, bread in the oven, and exotic seasoning ascended our nostrils. Further addressing our appetites we were welcomed in the hallway by a sign which assured that “We serve good food.” We stepped into the reception and were welcomed with the smile of a gypsy-looking lady who couldn’t exactly be accused of cutting back on the Elysambre. “Hey! Welcome!” She burst out happily as she rolled out a lump of dough on the table beneath the counter. A very unusual sight in a hostel reception, but as we glanced around, we noticed that the entire room was one big mess of colorful decoration and old furniture that provided the room with a very cosy and homely atmosphere. In the midst of everything, the terror of Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” failed to annihilate the positive vibes and instead afforded an ironic imitation of our baffled faces. It really surprised me that this hippie-shack allowed “No smoking.”
“You booked a room?” The lady asked while stuffing fruit into a blender. We did. “You can drop your luggage over there.” I quickly occupied a huge, comfortable chair in the corner with my backpack, thinking that I would spend the evening here with “A Song of Ice and Fire” before continuing our journey in the morning. “Care for a smoothie? On the house,” the lady asked. My friend quickly replied “I love smoothies!” Whereas my other friend added: “Yeah, I could use one right now.” Free smoothies, a lovely hostess, and a menu spelling: “fried chicken, red skin potatoes, and homemade red wine sauce with hand-picked shallots.” Knorr and Uncle Ben’s would remain comfortably packed for the moment, and I remember thinking that the huge “EXIT”-sign above the door certainly didn’t seem alluring at the time.

Seibaek: A fairytale - Just because

The Princess with the Orange

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away lived the most beautiful princess the world had ever seen. As so many other princesses she was locked away in a tower, because that is how you raise a princess. Being alone all day, every day without anyone to talk to, you can get quite lonely, but the princess was so fortunate as to have her best friend with her constantly. Her best friend was an orange. From Brazil that is.

You might wonder what a princess and an orange could have in common, but when your options are narrowed down, you learn to cope with what you have got. And in fact, it was a very nice orange – fresh and bright in colour, young and in its prime. With that said, they still did not enjoy the longest, deepest or most heartfelt conversations. But they got by.

As you might have guessed, this could not end happily, seeing as a princess and an orange do not have the same lifespan. One day the orange began to rot. Struck with grief the princess watched her best friend slowly fade away in a very smelly and wrinkly manner. When the orange finally passed away the princess was heartbroken.

One day a handsome young prince heard the rumour of a beautiful young princess who was devastated by the loss of her friend. Knowing it is best for a princess to always have a smile on her face, he set out to aid her in her need. After 40 days of riding night and day through deserts and deep forests, climbing over the highest mountains and crossing the widest rivers he arrived at the gates to the princesses’ castle.

He immediately lost his heart at the sight of the sad princess and wanted nothing more than making her happy again, and since he was such a handsome prince she soon agreed on marrying him. On one condition! She told him that she could not marry him unless he mended her broken heart by giving her a new orange. Back in those days, oranges was not something you could find in your local grocery store, the prince would have to go on a journey to Brazil. (Because that is where all oranges come from)

The prince sat out, galloping away in the horizon on his mighty steed. His ivory white steed was indeed so fast that it could run across water without sinking to the bottom. Nonetheless it took the prince seven days and seven nights to get to the borders of Brazil, and there he found his first challenge. All princes have to endure challenges, you see.

An enormous green dragon was guarding the border and would not let him trough. But the prince was lucky; the dragon had the most awful toothache, and offered to let him pass if he in return found a dwarf who could remove the dragons’ sick tooth. The prince agreed and set out on his new mission.

Not long after, he arrived at an entrance to a cave. Knowing that dwarfs live in caves, he went in. Deep within the cave he found a small man working with fluid gold, and casting it into shiny armour. The prince asked the small man if he were a dwarf. He was. He asked if he knew how to pull out a tooth. He did. He asked if he would help him. He would not. But the dwarf wanted the princes’ help, and in return he would help, and remove the tooth. The prince had to make the dragon promise to protect the small dwarf when it was needed, and then the dwarf would remove the tooth, and even give him the golden armour. And so he did.

The dwarf got his promise, the dragon got rid of its tooth, the prince got his shiny armour and the permission to enter Brazil, and collect an orange. As soon as he had the orange he hurried home to give the orange to the princess, make her smile again and then marry her.

When the princess saw the handsome young prince, she was so happy that he had succeeded and returned to her, that she promised to spend every day for the rest of her life trying to make him as happy as he had made her.

And they all lived happily ever after.